


good choices

by mercury_wings



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Erisolsprite is mentioned as well !, M/M, Major character death - Freeform, basically eridan fucking dies, everybody say thank you homestuck act omega, heavily based on homestuck act omega, i reaally hope its not ooc, like a second time, no beta we die like eridan, relationship is up to interpretation really, this is basically just sollux being angry for 2k words
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-19
Updated: 2020-05-19
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:55:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24268558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mercury_wings/pseuds/mercury_wings
Summary: TA : h0w many actual choices have y0u had, Eridan ?TA : h0w many 0f them did y0u completely fuck up f0r bullshit, dumbass reas0ns ?-----> homestuck, act omega(Eridan finally decides to listen to someone for once in his life, and Sollux absolutely hates it)
Relationships: Eridan Ampora & Sollux Captor, Eridan Ampora/Sollux Captor
Comments: 4
Kudos: 42





	good choices

**Author's Note:**

> act omega saved my life and i could not be more thankful. they delivered top tier dirkjake and davekat and actually work on eridan and gamzee....from the summary you probably guessed i have a lot of feelings abt the pep talk sollux gave ;;

Everything becomes very real the moment he sees violet blood on his fingers.

  
They were already dead. Their eyes were all empty. And yet, gosh, there still was so much blood inside their bodies. Sollux does not really want to know how, or why.

  
Right now, there is blood on his hands. It is not his own. And yet, in a twisted way, he feels like it should have been his mustard coloured blood littering the floor, and not the ridiculously royal violet one. In any other situation, he would have went “hah ! Good for me.” but right now, he just felt dread. Nothing else but dread.

  
He had said it himself : they were all inevitably going to disappear. But he did not want it to be like this. They were all supposed to sink out, finally letting everything go, together in the end—they were not supposed to be in pain. Not again.

  
The time bubble had started to crack. Weird shining lines had started drawing themselves around the group. Nepeta had remarked that they were kind of pretty, like worms on a string. Sollux did not see well enough to confirm or refute that fact. He just accepted it as a sign that it was all starting to go down.

  
Then, he remembers a flash. Someone saying “hey, this looks weird” and someone else yelling “Sollux ! Move !” but he, in his stupid idiot useless blindness could not see and did not know where to move. So someone had pushed him.

  
And that someone had gotten a full burst of ripping spacetime in his face. Or more specifically, in his abdomen. Which had caused bleeding. And a lot of cursing and yelling around. And all of that, which had happened solely because Sollux was not capable of taking care of himself, was slowly tearing him apart. Piece by piece. Pulling at the already frayed edges of his collapsing mind and it hurt—god, it hurt.

  
There is violet blood on his fingers. But he wishes there was not.

  
He is sitting, on the cold, weird, itchy, grainy ground, and he is holding a hand. In front of him, Feferi is muttering something to Nepeta about a wound, and other confusing medical shit that would only piss him off, so he does not listen. The others are kind of walking around, too jittery to stay in place. Sollux almost envies them. There is an enormous empty hole in his chest (or there should have been, at least) and he cannot bring himself to move at all.

  
He was not one to feel that stupid survivor's guilt. He was not one to beat himself after accidents. So why, he asks himself, why could he not just get over the fact that someone who was already dead had given whatever piece was left of his dirty, empty soul, just to save his poor excuse of an existence ? This was not supposed to be happening. 

  
Eridan was not supposed to die again. Or at least, not like this. Not in a fucking glorious self-sacrifice. He did not deserve that. He was too fucked up for that. After everything he had done, he could not get a noble and heroic death. That made no sense.

  
“Why did you do it.” He had asked. There was no empathy in those words. No compassion either. Just pure, cold anger.

  
“I’m making a good choice in my life.” He had answered, voice even. Sollux heard something hissing in his throat when he breathed. “Finally.”

  
That was a stupid reason.

  
It is true, it was Sollux who had talked to him about the whole good choices mumbo jumbo but he had never expected Eridan to actually remember that shit. Maybe he listened better than he showed it. Maybe he was not that bad a person.

  
No. No, this was not the time to pity him. This was not the time to actually think about him at all. Eridan Ampora was a terrible disgusting murderer and his death did not matter in the slightest. In fact ! Sollux was even happy that he had quickened the process. Ha. Ha. See, he was laughing at him. Laughing at his deteriorating alive-death slipping away from his already empty eyes.

  
Ha. Ha. He was laughing at the guy who, even though he had fought him countless times, had saved his life (or whatever was left of it). Sollux closes his eyes. Ha. Ha. Maybe not seeing that revolting corpse would help him get over it faster. Ha. Ha. In the end, Eridan had listened to his words. He had listened to Sollux's advice about becoming a better person, and that had killed him.

  
His hand was very cold. Only because he was a seadweller, and that meant his blood was cold, and that meant his body was cold. It did not change anything. This was not a tragic realization about someone getting colder as they died. Eridan was born cold, and he would die (a second time) cold. Why was he thinking about that anyways ? Why was he even holding his hand. Gross. Holding hands with a corpse. Stop that.

  
His grip tightens. He feels the weakest, most pathetic attempt at squeezing back. It makes him want to laugh at how ridiculous Eridan was, and definitely not cry. No. Why would he cry ? Who would even cry for Eridan Ampora ? This was stupid. It was not even the first time he was dying. This was not even important. This did not matter. Sollux had better things to do.

  
He opens his eyes. Or, eye. It does not change much from when they were closed, except now he kind of sees the outline of things. He distinguishes an insignificant, blurry mass of grey and purple and blue and violet in front of him. He stares.

  
“hey” the unimportant, stupid, ugly, dead mass mumbles.

“Hi.”

  
“So. What’s going on ?”

  
Sollux blinks. “You sound like shit.”

  
“Thanks.”

  
He did sound like shit. His voice was quiet, and annoyingly raspy, and Sollux did not want to hear it. So he does not answer. End of conversation. He does not move, though. He just closes his eyes, hoping it will dissuade the other from talking to him. 

  
He focuses on things he can touch instead. The smooth hand in his. The over the top ice cold rings on thin fingers. The small pebbles on the ground which were kind of hurting his ass. His t-shirt, damp with sweat, sticking on his skin. There is nothing else.

  
“Sol.”

  
He does not answer. He does not want to answer. There was nothing to be said. 

  
“I’m sorry.”

  
His eyes shoot open. What kind of bullshit ? Wait. No. Yes. Yes. Eridan should be sorry. He should be apologizing and apologizing to all of them for all the shit he put them through. He should die for them. He was dying for them. Sollux wants to tell him all of that. He wants to insult him and hate him with every single fibre of his being until he died, and then spit on his corpse.

  
But he does not.

“I messed up. Big time. And all of you hate me now. And that makes sense.”

  
He wants to hit him. Punch his face. Pull his arms apart and watch violet blood flow under his fingers. He wants to break every single bone in his body and he wants to scream until Eridan completely stops making noise forever. Sollux hates his voice. He hates how much it snips his heartstrings when it hesitates on words and doubles wavy sounds. 

  
“I'm not asking you to forgive me. That'd be so dumb, haha. I just wish...you would love me. Just a little bit. For saving your life, I guess.”

  
Love him ? What the fuck. Never happening. Nobody could ever love Eridan Ampora. Not in a million years. Ha ! That was funny, Sollux was going to laugh at that. He opens his mouth, tries to force it out. Ha. It should have been easy; just a single sharp exhale which would show how little he cared about him. But it does not work. He closes his mouth. Why ? Laughing was easy. Laughing was easy !

  
He hears his name being said once again, but he does not care. Why would he care about anything Eridan had to say ? He ignores it. Tunes it out. Think about something else. Something other than that stupid hand you still don’t want to drop. 

  
And suddenly, there is a hand on the side of his face. He realizes it is the hand he was holding, which was now up and rubbing a spot underneath his eye. Rubbing being a bit of an overstatement. It was more of a light dab. Why was it lightly dabbing ? Whatever it was, he does not want it to stop. He strengthens his grip, terrified that he would slip away.

  
Terrified ? Wait. No. No. Sollux was not terrified. He did not care. Why was there a hand on his face ? Disgusting. Take it off.

He cracks open one eye. That is also when he notices that said eye is leaking. Just a little bit.

  
“Oh.” He says, because really, what else is there to say ? His words are meaningless anyways. He could have said anything, or nothing at all, and it would have been all the same !

  
There are piss yellow tears everywhere. He feels it more than he sees it. The dampness of his cheeks, which he somehow had not realizes before. The way his eyes are prickling only a tiny little bit. The droplets hanging from his chin, and eventually falling one by one. The hand, which was freezing cold on his cheek, feeling a little sticky with tears. Sollux was crying. He was really, really crying.

  
And that made him furious.

  
“I hate you.” He grumbles for good measure. No way Eridan was growing pale or flushed for him right now of all times. He would trample and kick the sea dweller's heart six feet under without second thoughts.

  
“I know.” He answers, surprisingly, and Sollux hates that answer. “I wish you didn't.”

  
“Should’ve thought about that before you started killing everybody, asshole.”

  
A part of him is in pain. A part of him tells him to stop, come on, he is dead stop killing him; but he cannot. He does not know what else to say other than insults. There is nothing else to say other than insults. Anything other than insults would hurt too much.

  
“I messed up. I wish I had time to fix it.”

  
“You....” _couldn’t have fixed it. You’re broken beyond repair. You don't deserve a second chance. Die._

  
“I wish you had more time as well.” 

  
And he is completely genuine.

  
He dares to crack open an eye, letting the hand fall back to the ground. It was all over anyways. He wishes it did not hurt. He wishes it did not matter. He wishes he could just tell himself to get over it, move on, and then accept death. There is violet all over Eridan’s face. It's tears. It's disgusting. Sollux awkwardly wipes them away with his palm.

  
Yes he is half blind, and yes he sees close to nothing. But when the violet blood’s mouth twitches up in a weird mix between a grimace of pain and a smile, and when his eyes close themselves shut in exhaustion, Sollux sees it. Eridan was already an empty husk. This was just adding insult to injury.

  
“We will never forgive you.” He says, as the other's smile collapses. “But I guess we still love you. Just a little bit.”

  
And he dies. For the second time. There is no big yell, no final cry of pain, no jerking up. Eridan just dies. With his eyes closed, and his mouth half-open, and his face smeared with violet tears. It's ugly, and it's final, and Sollux would not have had it any other way.

.

When Sollux sees Erisolsprite, he almost breaks into tears.

  
When he gets the part of him that had shared this sprite with Eridan back, he almost sobs in relief.

  
When Eridan actually comes back, gagging and throwing up and muttering about voices and how disgusting it had been to share a body with fucking Sollux of all people, he just says “Fuck you.”

And that is fine.

**Author's Note:**

> i guess you can interpret this as whatever sort of relationship you want. im just glad act omega kind of went fuck it, sollux cares about eridan enough to want him to work towards becoming better. ((I cant wait for the next updates aaaaa))
> 
> hope you enjoyed :) !


End file.
